Tuxwqli
by Divisadero
Summary: The power of imprinting is strong, but what if you feel just as strongly for someone who you have not imprinted on? Is that love worth pursuing? Paul/ OC Paul imprints on the Alpha's niece. I promise a happy ending
1. Arrival

Hi Everyone. I realize that Paul is probably one of the main reasons you guys read this story. Don't worry, he will be more prominent in the chapters to come! Right now, the framework of Kayley's life is still being set so that we become familiar with her, and learn to love her as much as Paul.

_All credits to Stephanie Meyer for the mystical werewolves. _

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_somewhere i have never travelled, glady beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence..._

I looked outside the window and willed myself to focus on what was outside as the sign "La Push" wheezed past me. I let a groan escape. My daydreaming spasms has really got to stop. I blame it for why I get lost so often, not my directionless mind. Feeling slightly put out, I stepped off the bus. Lugging three suitcases down the steps, black hair in my face looking like the hairwoman, that's normal right? I guess not, considering the looks I'm getting.

I left my suitcases next to the road, flung my bag on it and started searching for any hint as to where in the bloody world I was. La Push, my destination, can't be that far off since the bus passed the sign not too long ago.

I walked into the closet store, and the smell of pizza overwhelmed me. A boy, around sixteen years old, looked up from his box of pizza and smiled at me. I smiled back and approached the counter.

"Hey, do you sell any maps here."

"Ah, no."

Drat.

"Well, than can you tell me where I am right now? I got off at the wrong stop."

"You're at Port Angeles. Where were you heading?"

"La Push."

"Oh! I'm actually from there. If you wait around a couple more minutes, I can drive you there. I'm heading home anyways."

Wow, such a nice person. How could I say no to a free ride?

"Hm, that would be really great."

"Yea, no problem. Never seen you around, I bet everyone was staring at you when you got off the bus. It's a pretty small town, everyone knows everyone.

"Ah, no wonder. And here I thought my hideous second head made an appearance again."I replied with a monotone.

"No, it did, I see it. But I don't think that's why people were staring." He said, laughing. "I'm Seth by the way."

"Kayley." I offered. He walked around the counter, and _that's_ when I noticed that he is at least a head taller than me, and I'm no shorty either, being five foot six and all.

Suddenly, four other worldly, abnormally tall men, even taller than Seth, walked in. My ears were suddenly flooded with deep male voices and my eyes travelled busily around the store.

They all have the russet brown skin common to us, and yet, they are like men I've never met before. An air of authority emits through the way they walk, though they are a young bunch, probably around my age. As much as they look alike because of the shortly cropped black hair, and of course, unusual tallness, every single one of them held a differently gaze in their eyes that seemed to speak their soul. As a neck cramp began to develop from having to look up, they stared back at me with interest. My eyes continued to travel around the crowd, and a particular one caught my gaze. Something about him held me there, and not just because he is possibly one of the most handsome men I have ever met. His dark brown eyes seemed to hold an intense storm within as he looked at me. I pried my eyes away with effort as Seth stood next to me.

Seth looked down at me and hinted "Hey guys, this is…."

"Oh, right, I'm…" Just then, something outside the store door caught my eye. Somehow with all these tall people around, I still managed to see the outside. My bag was running away, clutched roughly under the arms of a man in black shades and a ragged green shirt.

"Oh no you don't!" I shouted out loud. Everything important is in that bag, and I'm not surrendering it to some…black-shade-green-shirt-guy. Forgetting Seth and all the other guys, I pulled off my flats, forsake my other suitcases, and ran after the thief.

I faintly hear the guys calling me, but my mind could only focus on one thing at the moment. I took a sharp turn, and saw a fleeting green taking another turn into a deeper alleyway. I ran towards it, but when I got there, the thief was nowhere to be seen.

"Drat!" Not only did I lose my bag, I had no shoes on, and all the turning corners and running through alleyways have got me confused as to my present location. Which also meant that I have no idea how to go back to Seth's store. Where my other suitcases are.

I headed out the alleyway, trying to come up with a plan. I figured, if worse comes to worse, I could build myself a nice little shelter with those cardboard boxes over there, lying next to the garbage. Just as I was inching towards them, a rusty red truck pulled up next to me.

"Why hello there, little lady. You alright?"

I would usually scowl at anyone who calls me _little lady_, but this man, with his long black hair, sincere smile, seemed genuine in his concern, so I let it slide.

"Actually, no, I'm in quite a situation right now", I admitted truthfully. I literally didn't have anything on me that would help me get out of this mess. At this point, I'm willing to take any help, even from a bear, or a werewolf if they offered it.

"Well, why don't you hop on in, and we can get this situation sorted out?" I did just that, sliding into the passenger seat.

"I'm Billy Black." He offered kindly.

"I'm Kayley. Thanks so much for helping."

"No problem. I can't just leave a pretty girl like you wandering on the streets like a lost deer now can I." I smiled at his endearment. His sincerity is the only reason I'm letting him call me _little lady_ and _lost deer_. "So how can I help you? Do you have a specific place you want to go to?"

"I'm heading to La Push."

"Oh, I live there! Practically know everyone there. Who are you looking for?"

"Sam Uley. Have you ever heard of him?" Uncle Sam is my father's brother. Although I've never been to La Push before, Uncle Sam used to visit my brothers and me at Makah. I adore him, him and all his fascinating Quileute stories about werewolves and warriors.

"Heard of him, now that is an understatement. I practically consider him my son! How do you know him?" I relaxed into the seat and answered proudly, "I'm his niece."

"His niece! You're Kayley Uley?" I wince at the rhyme that forms when my first name is said with my last name. Billy saw my wince and laughed. "The rhyme's poetic." Everyone says that, almost like they need to offer some comfort and reassurance that it doesn't sound as bad as it really is. I let it go for now.

"Uncle Sam mentioned me before?" I smiled inwardly.

"Mention you? He has framed baby pictures of you in his house, and it's not only him, Emily doesn't shut up about you either." Aunt Emily, another one I adore. It's nice to know that they miss me as much as I have missed them.

"Well, do you think you could take me over to their house?"

"Of course I can! Funny, if you were visiting, I would think they would've talked nonstop about it. Your brothers are here already, how come you came so late?" Brothers. Stupid Ian and Ryan. They are the main reason why I decided to sneak behind my Grandpa and come to La Push. A few months ago, after a sudden phone call from Uncle Sam, they decided to move to La Push. I was more than happy to go with them, but somehow, I was left behind like the little sister who can't join the big boys. Me coming now is kind of like my act of defiance, to show that the little sister will not put up with their crap.

"Oh, well, actually, they don't know I'm here." I muttered this last part really fast. Instead of berating me like I expect adults like Billy would, I heard him laugh again loudly. "Well, this just means that I'm the lucky one that gets to announce your arrival!"

I laughed along with him, my mood improving for the better as I imagine Ian and Ryan's face. No doubt they will try to push me back to Makah, but I have some blackmail material on my side. I have got it all worked out. The ultimatum would consist of them not telling my runaway to Uncle Sam and Aunt Emily, and I would keep my end of the deal.

We drive in comfortable silence, and soon enough, the truck started to slow in front of a small but cozy looking white house. There were a lot of movements behind the windows, suggesting a whole lot of visitors in the house.

As I stepped out of the truck, Billy yelled "Jacob, come help your old man!" I walked over to Billy's side, and that's when I realized that he needed a wheelchair. As I walked towards the backseat to retrieve the wheelchair, who I assume must be Jacob ran out of the house and beat me to it. "I've got it." He unfolded the wheelchair, and like a practiced routine performed, effortlessly lifted Billy and placed him carefully into the seat. When Jacob looked up at me, his eyes were as sincere as Billy's. They are so alike it is impossible not to identify them as father and son. They also held a look of surprise.

"Hi there, I'm Jacob. You're the girl who ran after the thief without shoes!" Girl-who-ran-after-the-thieve-without-shoes. Good first impressions you make, Kayley.

"Yea, that would be me. I'm guessing you are one of the guys in the store when I flipped out and ran after my bag?" As embarrassing as that was, I can't help but feel relief. Perhaps I have a chance to reunite with my suitcases after all.

"Yea, I was there. We got your suitcases, but we left them at Seth's store in case you came back for them. So where are you headed? Do you need a ride somewhere?"

Like father like son. "No, Kayley is where she wants to be now. She is Sam's niece!"

"Oh, you're _the_ Kayley? Wow, Sam didn't mention you were coming too."

"Yea, it's sort of like a, you know… a surprise." My lying skills aren't really all that great, but they seemed to take it.

"Well come on in, they're going to flip when they see you!" I noted the irony. Yea they're going to flip alright, especially Ian and Ryan, but for complete opposite reason. Smirking, I followed Jacob as he pushed Billy's wheelchair to the front door.

"Sam, Emily, Ian and Ryan, I got a present for you guys!" Billy shouted excitedly.

I recognized Ryan's amused reply. "If it's one of those pranks you call presents again, I think I will pass."

"Even better. Guess who I picked up at Port Angeles. A Miss Uley." Billy announced my entrance in a voice like I'm royalty as Jacob stepped side for me to make my appearance.

For a second, there was silence. Then my surprised family began. "You're so stupid Kayley!" shouted Ryan.

"Nice to see you too Ryan." I yelled back. Ian however, always the gentler brother of the two, swept me into a hug and muttered in my ears "What are we going to do with you?" A nicer welcome would be nice, I thought.

Something odd seemed to happen to my brothers. Ryan's infamous long black hair was cropped to the same length as the rest of the guys, and has even shaved his head very close to the scalp. I haven't seen them for only five months, and yet they seem to have grown over two feet since the last time I saw them. I was just about to voice this when Uncle Sam stepped into my line of vision.

"Kayley, what were you doing at Port Angeles? What are you doing here?" Uncle Sam said as I got out of Ian's embrace only to be passed into the arms of Uncle Sam. He smelled the same as ever, like childhood and the woods. A look passed his face and something seemed to connect at the moment. "Oh, _you're _the odd girl at Seth's store the guys were talking about!" I ignored the term _odd girl_. At least I didn't need to repeat the story again.

"I missed you guys too much, so I decided to come down to La Push and surprise you guys!"

"You could've called. But I guess that wouldn't have been much of a surprise." Aunt Emily smiled at me as she stood next to Uncle Sam and kissed my cheek. "Welcome to La Push Kase! We've missed you so much too!"

As Uncle Sam set me down on my feet again, I suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment as I saw the sea of faces looking at our little family reunion. The same guys that were at Seth's store are here, as well as a couple of others I haven't met. They seem to belong to some kind of gang considering the uniformed appearance they seem to adhere to. They would've intimidated me much more if I didn't grow up with a bunch of male cousins. However, there height was definitely something to behold, and I made a mental note how I would probably need to buy heat pads for my cramping neck.

I looked around again, and suddenly, I was caught in that gaze again. The same gaze that held me at the store, holding me now with its intensity. His face didn't betray any sort of emotion however, so for all I know, he could be staring because of my intrusion. I however, was staring out of admiration….His eyes from afar, was a shade of dark chocolate brown, his skin a perfect shade of leather brown, and his muscled chest….WAIT! Kayley snap out of it. Believe me when I say I was shocked. I've never noticed a guy that way before. Imagine my embarrassment as all the faces continued to stare at me while I checked out a total stranger. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks, but I cleared my throat, tore my eyes off the stranger, and mustered the strength to address everyone.

"Hi, I'm Kayley, it's very nice to meet you all." There, that sounded confident enough.

Uncle Sam began the introduction. He pointed to Jacob and Seth, who I've already met, Embry, Brady Jared, Quil, Collin and….Paul. That was his name.

A chorus of hellos and welcomes streamed out from all the guys and I smiled. Uncle Sam draped a hand casually against my shoulder, and said to Billy. "Thanks so much for bringing her over. She is so careless when it comes to her safety." He looked down at me and smiled. "You _are_ the _only_ you know. As annoying as you can be, we would kind of miss you if you were gone."

There we go again, the over protective male family members make their entrance. I really need to stop being reminded that I am the only female Uley in existence right now, not considering my aunts who are Mrs. Uley's. Somehow, being the only girl gave all of them a reason to see me as some fragile china doll. Don't I just _love _that role. I rolled my eyes dramatically at him, and Aunt Emily laughed.

"Aw come one, Ms. Uley, let's get you settled in. First, do you want to call your Grandpa and let him know you arrived safely?" I cringed slightly at the idea, and shot quick pleading glances at Ian and Ryan. They seemed to be able to hold their mouths at the moment, though their eyes held disapproval. They're the only ones who would know that Grandpa would never let me come to La Push.

"Ah, I think I will just call…later. He is probably busy at some tribal council meeting at this time." My explanation seemed to work.

One of the guys stepped forward and my eyes immediate zoned in on my turquoise colored bag. The one I thought would be parted with me forever! I couldn't let the smile take over my face as I stared up gratefully to me bag savior, who I recalled to be Embry. "How did you catch him? I ran after him but he disappeared. Thanks so much."

"Let's just say we have a good _nose_ for tracking down bad guys." All the guys laughed at some sort of inside joke. I rummage through the bag, and as I saw the most important thing, relief flooded through me.

"There is no wallet or anything in there. Why did you run after the thief like there was something really precious in there?" Jacob asked. Before I could answer, Uncle Sam asked worriedly, "Wait, you ran after the thief by yourself?"

"Yes, I am capable of running, by myself, behind someone who stole something from me." I replied sarcastically.

"What were you going to do if you catch up with him?" Ian interrupted as he too looked down at me.

I never really thought about that part. I guess I expected the thief to feel busted and so intimidated by my glare that he would dejectedly hand the bag back. I guess if need be, I could've poked his eye, jabbed his nose, kneed him in the…

"You, Kayley, is a danger to yourself. Honestly, do you not think before you act?"

I put both my hands on my waist indignantly, but before I could answer with some sarcastic remark that would just land me in to more trouble, Aunt Emily grabbed my hand and walked me out of the kitchen. "Alright, let's let the famous Uley protectiveness rest for now and let the poor girl rest. Where are your shoes, Kase."

I look down at my dirty feet. "I took them off when I ran after the…" I heard a few sighs and a laugh from Ryan, but I decided to remain on the high horse and all, and refused to look at them and said. "It 's easier to run without shoes!" Even Aunt Emily shoke her head, but she let it go. As she pulled me by my hand to lead me out of the kitchen, I looked back at the guys, and caught the gaze of _him_ again. He was still starting intensely at me, and I have a feeling that he never looked away even whilst I did.

Behind me, I hear Uncle Sam faintly but sternly ask. "Did any one imprint on her…?"

Imprint? Assuming the _her_ he was referring to is me, this sparked my interest slightly. I tried to hang back a bit, but I guess the answer to his question was no since no one answered. Shrugging, I let it go for now. I didn't feel how tired I was until I saw the bed. "You can stay in this room, it's a bit small, but it faces the forest and in the morning you can see the sunrise from your window." "Sounds perfect Aunt Emily, thanks."

I plopped onto the side of the bed as Aunt Emily closed the door, blowing a kiss in my direction. I smile, and opened my bag. This is definitely precious, worth fighting any danger for, I thought as I place my mother's photo next to my nightstand.


	2. Breakfast

_...nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility..._

It is at this time, with the sun rising, the coming of a new day, that I wonder if life is worth living through. There is enough that I love to keep me here, but with the end of the tunnel being so dark, it gets me wondering whether or not the present happiness is enough, only to know that darkness will envelope me in the end.

6a.m., my alarm blinked. Too early for this type of no-answer questions. I tried to will myself out of bed when my door started to creak open slowly. I bet I know who it is. And sure enough, Ian and Ryan's head poked in. I'm surprise they let me sleep last night and had the strength to hold out until this morning, no doubt ready to give me some big brotherly lecture.

"Yo, Kase, you awake?" Ryan asked.

"No, I'm not. Go away." I guess my words don't count, for a moment later, I felt myself being pushed to the middle of the bed as my two brothers tried to squeeze in on either side of me.

"Argh. You guys!" In my mind however, I thought about how much I've missed this. They were my brothers, and as much as they belittle me with their over protectiveness, they are my family. When my mom died five years ago, Ian, Ryan, Grandpa and I relied on each other in order not to fall apart individually.

"You little liar. What are you doing in La Push?" Ryan turned towards me with his eyes sparkling with mischief. I bet his disapproval is more a front to show his big brother role, and instead, he is applauding himself for having taught me well on all things mischievous.

"I wasn't going to miss out on the fun. Besides, you guys are the ones who left me behind. You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do."

"We didn't _want_ to leave you behind, Kase, we had to come to La Push, and it's not safe for you here. Go back to Makah before Grandpa sends the whole tribe to look for you." I turned over to Ian to gave him a glare. Somehow danger and La Push seems like an oxymoron.

"I can hardly see La Push as being dangerous. Anyways, you guys never gave me an explanation as to why you guys left, and I thought since you guys didn't care enough to tell me _anything_, you wouldn't care either what I do."

"We do care Kase." Ian answered with softness in his eyes. "You're our one and only baby sister."

"Then humor me with an explanation."

They shared a look, one of those big brother looks that I always feel excluded from. As they tried to come out with an answer, communicating through their eyes, I threw another question at them. "And how come you guys are so _big_ now? When did this growth spurt happen?" My brothers have never been short, but six foot five and six foot seven? That can't be normal, considering boys stop growing around eighteen and they're now twenty and twenty two.

They shared another look. Great. There is nothing they can tell me. I'm starting to think there is some sort of conspiracy going on here in small little La Push.

"We can only tell you this. Go home."

"No." Tough luck trying to get rid of me. I am determined to figure why they came here so suddenly, without explanation. I mean, I wouldn't question a sudden disappearance from Ryan, being the rebel of the family and all, but Ian…the always reliable one. That is a mystery.

"You do know that once we tell Uncle Sam and Aunt Emily that you ran away from Makah, they will send you right back where you came from right?" Ryan stated smugly.

Ah. Ryan, you underestimate me. My mastermind planning isn't all that flawed. "I'm not going down unless I bring you guys with me."

"And how are you planning to do that?" smirked Ryan.

"Plain and simple blackmail." I stated with my own smug smile. "You must think I'm still two or something, but I'm not. If Grandpa never allowed me to come to La Push, why would he let you two. From what I heard, you guys told him you're attending college in Seattle."

That wiped the smirk off Ryan's face and the doubtful smile on Ian's. Sweet. Now we are all on the same boat. "And learning from the best, I told Grandpa that I'm also attending university this term, here, in _Seattle._"

"Wow, I'm impressed. We might share some genes after all." Ryan said as his smile returned. Ian however, still looked disapproving.

"Kase, are you sure you should be here. Shouldn't you be at home, resting and taking it easy? We can't always take care of you here, we have….things to take care of all the time. If your heart…"

I cut him off right there. Really, this always-taking-care-of-me thing is getting out of hand. "I'm fine Ian, and so is my heart. I unleashed the puppy dog eyes on Grandpa, so naturally he didn't say no. Besides, I convinced him that you guys would be here to watch out for me."

"Like I said before, we can't always…"

"Ian! Considering how I'm _dying_, like what you're so concerned about, maybe I can have some fun while I last." I didn't mean it to sound so harsh, but my nerves were really wearing.

"Kase…" Ian trailed off dejectedly as he enveloped me in his hug. I looked over at Ryan, whose smile has long been wiped off, and dragged him into the hug as well. "Come on guys, can't you just say welcome and we're happy to have you here?" I teased.

"I can say welcome, but I can't say truthfully I'm thrilled to have you here." Mumbled Ryan.

"My, aren't you always the sweet talker." The atmosphere seemed to lighten a bit, and the argument drifted off.

"Breakfast time!" Aunt Emily yelled from downstairs. The bed suddenly lifted as my two large brothers flew out the door like men in a trance. "We will discuss this more later." I roll my eyes and before going down, pulled on a blue jumper with a random whale on the front. I brushed my straight black hair into a ponytail before following them down the stairs. As I rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, the overwhelming voices I encountered last night flooded my ears again. Breakfast seems to be some occasion, as every one of the guys I met last night were gathered around a small table stuffing their faces. I scan the room for a place to settle myself, and realized that the only place was across from him…Paul.

I haven't even spoken a word to him, much less know anything about him, and yet I feel like there is this connection, this link between us as our eyes met that held our presence together. As I sat down, we continued to stare at each other, absent of any awkwardness. He seemed to be as confused as I was though, because his head was tilted slightly to one side, with a crease between his eyebrows. I briefly wondered if I looked like that in his eyes too. We would've continued the staring, not that anyone would have noticed us considering the new plate of steaming pancakes Aunt Emily placed on the table. Suddenly, a plate of horror was settled in front of me. Piled high with scrambled eggs, bacon, pancake, muffins, potatoes… suddenly I was the center of attention.

"Hey, how come Kase gets more than pancakes!" Ryan shouted across the table. I looked around into the jealous eyes of the guys, and just over a plate of food too! Despite the humor in the situation however, the plate was really more than I could ever eat, and I looked at Uncle Sam with raised eyebrows.

"Do you honestly think I can finish even one third of this. Besides I don't normally eat breakfast."

"You need to eat, you're way too skinny!" said Uncle Sam. Aunt Emily, spoon in hand, stood behind Paul. I tried not to get distracted. "No one rejects food in this house Kayley, that's simply not allowed."

I picked up my fork and started digging my way through the food. Might as well try. I scooped some scrambled eggs into my mouth, all the while feeling Paul's eyes on my face. Determined not to let myself get even more interested in this mysterious man, I focused my attention next on the pancakes. Halfway through my first pancake, I looked up to see if Uncle Sam and Aunt Emily were looking. They seemed to be in their own little universe as they leaned into each other's embrace, and I took the moment to dump some of the food onto the plate of the person sitting next to me. It turned out to be Embry, and we shared a smile. In my peripheral vision, Paul tensed.

"I saw that!" Uncle Sam and Aunt Emily shouted together.


	3. Cyclic Personality

_Or if your wish be to close me, i and my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly…_

Wanting what you can't have is hard. But ever try stopping yourself from what you shouldn't have? It's one thing not getting something because you _can't_, but it's another story, a harder one, mind you, to have self control not to reach out for what could possibly be yours.

Having come to the acceptance that I will be sticking around at La Push for a while, my brothers decided to bring me around the reserve. Walking on First Beach is like taking a stroll in a dream. The water seemed to stretch endlessly, connecting with the sky in a perfect way. The sound from the crashing waves soothed my fears for a moment, and I welcomed and peace.

"How have you been Kase?" Asked Ian as we settled on one of the logs facing the water.

"Fine. Makah was getting a little boring though, without you two goofs and with Grandpa so busy with tribal meetings." I answered, knowing that this wasn't what he was looking for.

"Come on. You know what I'm asking. Have you been visiting ? Are you taking your medication on time? Are you…"

"Ian!" I shouted. "Yes, I have done all the above." Talking about this really isn't what I needed right now. Trying to turn the attention away from me, I asked them again for an explanation on why they came to La Push .

"Well, we thought it would be a nice change of scenery, you know?" Ian answered unconvincingly. I rolled my eyes, and pointedly looked at Ryan for answers. He looked back at me and ran a hand through his short black hair.

"We came here because we had to. Now stop the inquisition and just believe us for once Kase, that we will tell you exactly why when the right time comes." Ryan is never serious, and hearing it in his voice right now somehow persuaded me to let the topic drop.

"Alright fine, but when the right time comes, you two better tell me."

They visibly relaxed, and we enjoyed the rest of the afternoon, with the sun on our faces and light chatter.

When we arrived back at Uncle Sam and Aunt Emily's home, the house was packed again. Ian and Ryan seemed unsurprised by this, and made a bee-line for the dining room. The kitchen seemed to be the only quiet area of the house, so I went in that direction instead. Just as I stepped into the kitchen however, I collided with a solid wall. That wasn't right, there is no door leading to the kitchen, I thought. I looked up, and met with the eyes of Paul. From up close, they were not a dark brown as I thought, but a light, chocolate brown. I stepped back dramatically, mumbling a sorry and tried to hide my rising blush by looking at my feet.

"No, it's my fault for being in the way." Paul said softly. I turned my eyes upwards and noticed that a slight pink hue marked his cheekbones as well. His hands ran through his messy short black hair, and I couldn't help but notice his muscled arms. Embarrassed and my own behavior, I looked away.

"So, ah, how are you liking La Push?" Paul asked gently, but also with a hint of shyness. Was he trying to make small talk? Maybe he isn't as cold as I thought.

"It's nice. Ian and Ryan brought me to First Beach today and it was beautiful."

"Yea, beautiful…" He replied lamely. I saw him shift his eyes from my face quickly as he cleared his throat. Why was he acting so strange? The few times I have seen him, he seemed so collected and serious.

"Well, I better see if Aunt Emily needs any help in the kitchen seeing as it's almost dinnertime." I really needed to distance myself before my interest in him increases. He stepped aside to make way, but his facial expression seemed to convey that he was trying to suppress something he wanted to say. Before I could ask, Uncle Sam came and stood before us. He looked down at me and then at Paul, and seemed to tense slightly.

"Paul, living room, now." Shoulders hunched slightly, Paul followed Uncle Sam and left without another glance at me.

Confusion clouded my mind, and I hate being confused. As quiet as my feet would allow me, I crept over to the living room and tried to listen into their conversation.

"Paul, did you imprint on her?" I heard Uncle Sam ask sternly. What is imprinting, and why is it a bad thing? Does it have to do with the scientist and the ducklings I learnt in biology class?

"Look Sam, I don't know! I feel so drawn, but the gravity shit that you all talk about hasn't happened." Paul answered with a frustrated tone. Imprinting, gravity, ducks…were they secretly mad scientists?

"Well, please try to stay away from her. If she isn't your imprint, then you know what happens if…something is to develop between you two." There was a hint of guilt in Uncle Sam's voice.

"Yea, yea, I know."

"Alright, I'm going to the kitchen to see if Emily needs help. You remember what I tell you Paul, she is very important to this family and I won't have her hurt in anyway."

"I would never hurt her." Paul stated strongly. I was so entranced by their conversation that I forgot I wasn't supposed to be sneaking on them. I ran quickly to the dining room before they could see me.

"Hey Kayley, how's it going?" I looked up to see Embry's bright smile. I wiped the confusion off my face and smiled back. His smile was contagious, and I couldn't help but continue a light chatter with him.

I was so absorbed in listening to Embry's passion for building cars and laughing at his jokes that I did not notice Paul enter the room until he came and stood next to me. Surprised, I looked up but saw that his gaze was not on me but on Embry. I was relieved for a second because I thought he caught me listening to his conversation with Uncle Sam and was confronting me about it. Relief however, became confusion yet again as I saw the hard glare he was shooting at Embry.

"Ah, Paul you ok?" Embry asked slightly alarmed. Paul's fist was clenched, and I became alarmed too. What was his deal? First he is serious, then gentle and shy, and now angry as a bull.

"Hell no Embry, you…" He was cut off as Jacob he whispered something in his ear and dragged him away from Embry and me. I continued to stare stupidly at Paul's angry gaze until he disappeared through the door. I looked at Embry for an explanation, but he seemed to be as confused as I was, and shrugged nonchalantly. "Paul has a temper problem." He said it like it explained everything.

I followed his lead to the dining room and took a seat next to him. He was trying to engage me in a chat about Makah but I was too distracted to be in the same good humor as before. I waited anxiously for Paul to come back, but he didn't for the rest of the night.

I'm not disappointed, I tried to convince myself as I lay in bed that night. Paul's behavior really confused me, and his cyclic personality from gentle to angry didn't help one bit. It also didn't help how drawn I felt towards him. Of course, I have had crushes before, but I could distance myself before it led to anything too deep. I made a decision then, as I stared out my window and gazed at the full moon. I will distance myself from Paul, because he isn't what I need right now. Confusion and wanting something I know I should not have isn't what I need.


	4. Divide

_in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near…_

The rain has a way for soothing my fears. For some people, living in a town that rains perpetually might put them into depression, but for me, the rain meant restoration. It replenishes the earth, and clears away the traces of time and the past. One time shortly after the funeral, I stood in the rain for a whole night because I thought that the water would cleanse all that was unwanted, any trace of a past that would haunt me. It didn't however, and all I was left with was a month of bed rest because of pneumonia. But even now, I belief in the magical power of rain. It might not sweep away the past, but it hid my present tears and seemed to offer the suggestion that it is not only raining within me.

It has been a few weeks since my arrival at La Push, and the change of scenery, as Ian put it, was doing me good. Aunt Emily seems to think I should eat as much as the guys who are always over at her house, specifically the kitchen, and my plate has continued to be the plate of horror. Of course, she doesn't know that with the medication I take, I really don't have much of an appetite. It isn't hard to get rid of the evidence though, considering the guys are always eyeing my plate with envy. I would dump more than half of my food on the plate next to me, so that now, it has become a routine for them to fight to sit next to me. It was more difficult however, when Paul would join us, which was not as often as the other's, because he would glare at whoever sat next to me and re-dump the food back on my plate, always telling me to eat more.

Since the short exchange outside of the kitchen, these short sentences of telling me to eat was all that he said to me. To say I was confused would be an understatement, because I had no idea in hell what goes on in his head. It becomes complicated and frustrating when you are trying to figure out someone, all the while trying to distance yourself. It is in this state of mind that I decided to take a stroll in the forest near the house.

It was yet another gray skied day, but that didn't deter me from venturing into the woods. I walked aimlessly, and it was an hour later that I remembered my non-existent sense of direction. I ignored the small voice that sounded oddly like Uncle Sam which said that I was a danger to myself, and looked around me, trying not to panick. I had no idea which direction I came from. I sat down on what of the fallen tree trunks and tried to come up with a plan. Surely, someone back home would notice my absence right? I looked at my watch and realized that it was 7:18pm. Oh no. It was dinnertime, and at dinnertime, there was only one thing on everyone's mind: food. Aunt Emily ought to remember me…

I shivered against the cold. The dampness in the wood was chilling, and the setting sun did not help either. This isn't so bad, I reassured myself, you like being alone. I tried to hum a tune because the darkening forest and the shadows cast among the trees were giving me the creeps. I rested my head against a tree trunk and closed my eyes, wondering whether I should just start walking in one direction and try my luck or continue to stay here so I won't get even deeper into the forest. The cold and the darkness lulled me to drift off, and the next thing I noticed was a panicked voice shouting my name and warm hands on my shoulders.

I opened my eyes lazily to meet a set of worried and relieved chocolate brown eyes. Paul.

"What are you doing here? Isn't it dinnertime?" I asked, still half asleep.

A fleeting smile crossed his lips, but it didn't last long before a worried frown set in again. More awake now, I noticed that he was pulling me into his lap as he sat down on the forest floor.

"I would come to you no matter what time of day it is." He mumbled softly in my hair in a volume that wasn't meant for me to hear.

The warmth that radiated off of him was comforting, and I absentmindedly snuggled into his chest. We stayed that way, lost in time, until a howl pierced through the silence. I jumped, and Paul, sensing my alarm, brushed his hand down my arm.

Sighing, he moved to stand up, steadying me on my feet gently. It was then that I snapped out of my gaze and realized how intimate the moment of us holding each other had been. I felt the strong blush rushing full speed in my cheeks, all the while glad that the darkness would hide it. Paul seemed to have realized this situation too, and he suddenly crouched toward my eye level.

"What the hell were you doing in the forest, at night, all alone?" He asked with a tense and angry tone.

"I was taking a stroll, but I got lost." I answered feebly. I was feeling guilty for being reckless, but people do stupid things all the time right?

"Kayley, it isn't safe to be along in the woods. Don't do this ever again." He said sternly.

Now I was getting annoyed. Who is he to tell me what I can and cannot do? I mean, sure, he was just looking out for me, but how dangerous can the woods be? I can't believe _he_ is treating me like a child too.

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much." I replied, making sure to sound angry.

"Well, enlighten me, what were you going to do if I didn't show up?"

"I would've…I would've thought of a plan." Usually I have better comebacks, but I was too tired to fully function. I swayed slightly but caught myself before I could show any suggestion of being weak. No need to assure him in any ways.

"Argh, Kayley,I…" His face scrunched up in anguish, and his ran his hand through is black hair roughly. He looked like he was in some sort of pain, and I instantly felt guilty. After all, he did rescue me...not rescue! He came to _lend a hand_. I should probably be more civil. I slowly reached out to touch his arm, but the touch seem to do more damage than good, for he tensed up and widened his eyes with surprise.

Without taking my hand off his arm, I said, "Thanks for coming to get me, but I really don't take well to people telling me what to do."

His eyes softened a bit, and stared at my hand on his arm. I swayed again, coldness and exhaustion overtaking me slowly. When was the last time I took the medicine?

He noticed, and moved to sweep me back in his arm like I weighed nothing. I protested, but it was only half-heatedly because his warmth was too comfortable to reject. He began to walk towards what I presume to be the house, and I tried not to rest my head on his chest to show my displeasure. He shifted however, and raised me to a level where my head was tucked under this chin. I thought about how awkward being in this position should make me feel, after all, I barely knew him. But somehow, I could not muster any sense of discomfort being tucked warmly in his arms.

We remained silent, to which I was grateful for. I really didn't know what to think of the intimate moments we shared today, and I truly didn't want to admit how my resolve to stay the hell away from him was crumbling by the minute.

We reached a clearing finally, and I saw the little white house. The lights were on, and I groaned.

"What, whats wrong?" Paul asked worriedly.

"I really don't want to explain anything to anyone right now, but I know that I am in for an Uley lecture once I step into the house. " Really, if Ryan ran off for a month, nobody would scold him. Me? I disappear for a few hours and they let the hounds on me.

"Maybe you deserve it. Do you know how important your safety is?"

"Like I keep stating, I can take care of myself." I made to jump out of his arm, and his face reflected my reluctance to let go. I didn't have time to dwell of that however, because familiar voices started shouting my name. I sighed heavily, and walked towards my doom.


	5. Enamour

_All credits to Stephanie Meyer for the mystical werewolves. _

____________________________________________________________________________

_speaking of love (of which Who knows the meaning; or how dreaming becomes if your heart's mine)…_

Secrets. Everyone has them. The reasons _why _we keep them as secrets however, are different. It allows us to retain a certain degree of individualism. Makes us more interesting. Perhaps it's something too shameful to admit. It could also very well be that perhaps by not voicing out the knowledge of something, it becomes a form of escape, because once uttered out loud, words become concrete.

After a lecture that lasted longer than all the hours I was gone for, the Uley team of protectors, or so they like to think, let me off finally. Paul didn't come with me into the house, and I controlled myself not to look back.

I was ordered to write a note every time I leave the house of my whereabouts, or they would buy a baby play pen and lock me in with it. I think the last part was some sort of twisted reverse psychology to let me know how "childish" my wandering off to the forest was. I offered to chip in for the play pen because I sure as hell wasn't going to stop doing what I want to do, whenever I want to do it.

Ian and Uncle Sam opened their mouth to lecture me again, but Aunt Emily came to my rescue.

"Alright, that's enough scolding for the night. Let the girl get some sleep now. You look a bit pale Kayley, you should go take a hot shower. I will make you some hot tea alright dear?" Aunt Emily said sweetly.

I was feeling quite dizzy, and didn't make a move to stand up on pretense that I wanted to continue arguing. I opened my mouth to provoke a longer lecture so I could sit silently for a while longer until the dizzy spell passes, but the look of Ian's face seem to see through my pretense.

"Kayley…" He looked at me pointedly and I nodded.

Ian swept out of the room quickly, to the confusion of everyone. I put on a nonchalant face and continued to sit, willing my dizziness to go. Ryan, seeing past my façade too, lifted me by my elbow to have me stand up.

"Kayley, I need to talk to you." He said. Before I got a chance to say goodnight, Ryan dragged me out of the living room and upstairs. Ian, glass and pills in his hand, offered it to me with a stern expression on his face. I took the medicine without look at them, and walked towards my room.

"Kase, honestly! You call _me_ the rebel of the house. Look at you! Running off without a care. At least before I run off, I keep what I need to survive with me." Ryan whispered angrily.

"It's not like I planned to get lost!" My temper rising as well due to my exhaustion.

"Didn't Dr. Reed tell you to keep these pills with you at all times. What were they doing on your desk while you were not at home?" Ian asked with a clipped tone. "I'm seriously thinking about somehow permanently attaching this bottle to you. You seem to care very little that these pills are necessary for you to…"

"I know ok? It's _my _body, don't you think I care?" I whispered harshly.

"No, I don't think you care enough about your life. It's like you think you are dying and so your life doesn't matter anymore."

"Ryan, I _am _dying." I couldn't help it, but I let that slip. Before I could feel anymore guilty for worrying them, I stepped into my room and closed the door. It was then that the tears started to fall.

Life is so tangible that it's hard to grasp the concept of death.

The next morning, I woke up with a cough and feeling cold even though I was buried under three thick blankets. Great, just what I needed to show that I was physically weak. I stayed in bed until Aunt Emily came in. One look at me and she sighed and promised to return with my breakfast.

I lounged in my bed the whole day, ignoring Ian and Ryan's I-told-you-so glances. It was after Aunt Emily brought me soup for dinner that my door started creaking open. I expected it to be Uncle Sam or Aunt Emily checking in on me, but the person paused at the door, making no move to come inside. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see Paul's silhouette against the bright light from the hallway. I could open make out his eyes.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" He asked softly.

"No, I wasn't sleeping." The chill was too uncomfortable for me to fall asleep. I sat up against my headboard.

"Well, you should be sleeping. You have a cold after all."

"What are you doing here?" I asked bluntly. It was only after I said it that I realized how harsh that must have sounded, for his eyes looked pained.

"Sorry, I shouldn't be here, I will go now. Goodnight Kayley." He said quickly. Before he could close the door however, I shouted for him to come back. He looked surprised, but complied, closing the door behind him.

I turned on the bedside lamp and brightness flooded the room. It was only then that I realized he was shirtless and dressed only in a pair of very ancient looking shorts. Flushing slightly at the state of his dress, I looked down into my hands and waited for him to speak.

"Ah, how are you feeling? You look a bit flushed, should I open the window?" His tone was so gentle, like speaking any louder would cause me to break. For once, I couldn't decide whether I liked being treated fragilely or not.

" No, no, I feel cold actually." He stood next to my bed and looked down at me with a frown.

"I should get you more blankets, but I see you already have at least ten on you. Do you want something hot to drink? Should I make tea? Or soup? Do you want a hot pad? Can I get you…"

I cut him off with a shake of my head, smiling slightly at his concerned rambling. I felt warmth spread inside me for a moment before I felt confusion setting in again. Why was Paul acting so concerned about my well-being? I mean, he hardly knows me, and he was definitely out of my league.

I never admitted it to myself openly before, that Paul was extremely handsome. Dark and mysterious, with an air of quiet intensity about him. It's not that no guys have asked me out before, but I never noticed enough about them to agree. I wasn't really concerned about popularity back in high school, although different people always tried to "recruit" me into their groups. When the head cheerleader asked me whether or not I would be interested in joining them, I made up an excuse, saying how cheerleading would take my time away from studying about psychic powers. Needless to say, I was branded a "freak", which I happily accepted.

Anyways, back to the point. Paul was the first boy I actually felt interested towards, and that was scaring me. I mean, how bad was the timing? Perhaps if I didn't find out about my heart condition yet…perhaps if I _didn't _ have a condition, we would've…

I was cut from my daydream when I felt his hand on my forehead. I shivered unconsciously, his warmth on only my forehead was making the rest of my body feel really cold. He frowned yet again, and seemed to contemplate something before he made to sit on my bed.

"Do you want to…I mean, would you like it if I…if I hold you until you fall asleep? I run a pretty high temperature in case you haven't noticed already, so maybe that would help you? I know it might be slightly…intimate, but you really do need to sleep." Why did Paul sound so shy around me? And why did he care? I was seriously confused, but I decided that at this moment, his warmth was what I needed and I would berate myself later.

"That would be nice. These blankets aren't helping at all. All they are doing is suffocating me." I said with a smile, trying to lighten the atmosphere in the room. It seemed to work, because he smiled in response and laid next to me on my bed. I turned to face him, and he reached out and pulled me to him by my waist and tucked me under his chin. His other hand settled on my back and began rubbing soothing circles. Sighing contently because his warmth was seeping into me, I smiled and closed my eyes, drifting off into dream.


	6. Feather Touches

_spring is like a perhaps hand (which comes carefully out of Nowhere)…changing everything carefully…_

The sun on my face woke me, and I realized how hot it was in the room. I made to push the blankets off of me, and it was then that I realized my arms were pinned against a hard, muscular chest. How I could've forgotten that had fallen asleep in the arms of Paul was beyond me, but now that I remembered, I felt a blush rising. I moved slightly so that I could study his face. Sleeping with his mouth slightly agape, I noticed how his eyelashes were delicately long and thin, which contrasted with his sharp nose. His skin tone was a beautiful warm leather brown. With his features relaxed, Paul looked so much more approachable than his normally stern expression.

I continued to memorize his face until he began to stir. Trying to avoid the awkwardness of waking up in his arm and him catching me gawking at him like a stalker, I closed my eyes and pretended to still be asleep.

Paul yawned loudly, and made to stretch when he suddenly froze. Like me, he seemed to have forgotten briefly how we fell asleep last night. He did not move for what seemed like an eternity, and I was about to just give up and open my eyes when I felt his fingers touch my face. His fingers skimmed over my closed eyes so lightly that it felt like a feather was being used instead of hands. The touch moved down my nose, across my right cheek before stopping at the corner of my mouth.

I was exercising so much self-control not to ruin the moment by moving, but his dramatic pause, his hot fingertips so near my lips was making my stomach tingle. Slowly, his fingers started to move again, and it traced my upper lip, and then my lower lip. The somersaults in my stomach doubled, and I felt my heart speed up. That's no good. I wasn't supposes to strain my heart. I made to take deep breaths, and Paul's fingers left my face instantly.

I regretted the move, but decided that no matter how much I wanted to stay in this position, I would have to open my eyes eventually. When I did, I was met with a set of sparking brown eyes and my heart leapt even more. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath…

As I kept doing my breathing exercise discreetly, Paul continued to gaze at me with an intensity in his eyes that I could not, and did not want to interpret.

"Thanks again for keeping me warm." I said softly. I keep wondering why it felt so natural to wake up in his arms when I didn't even know what his favorite food is, what colour, place, whether he had sibilings…

Then it dawned on me. How did it come into my room with Uncle Sam, Ian and Ryan in the house? If they wouldn't allow me to date, not that I had ever wanted to, how would they allow a boy to stay in my room the whole night?

"How did to get past the protective triad?" He smiled at the nickname, but shrugged his shoulders like it was a question too simple to bother answering.

"Anyways, let's get you some breakfast." He left the bed and I instantly felt the cold morning air. He must have saw me shiver, because he grabbed two of the blankets and wrapped them around me tightly so that I felt like I was secured in a cocoon. Satisfied, he told me to clean up while he got breakfast ready for me.

After brushing my teeth and whatever else one does in the morning, I sat back on my bed and waited. I was feeling much better now, and my appetite was back. Waiting until my patience waned, I wrapped the blankets around me tightly and ventured to go downstairs for some breakfast. Maybe Paul was distracted by all the food that he forgot about bring some to me.

I was about to pass the tiny study room that was next to the dining room when I heard familiar voices from within. Angry whispers were being exchanged, and I stopped to eavesdrop when I caught my name amongst the hurried words.

"What the hell are you doing Paul? You _said_ you didn't imprint on her, so why are you around her? Do you want a repeat of what happened between me and…"Uncle Sam's angry words were interrupted by a voice I have come to be in tune to.

"I know ok? I know but I can't help it. I feel like something is drawing me to her, and I can't stay away. Are you sure I haven't imprinted when you saw my thoughts?" Saw his thoughts? Maybe I heard that wrong…

"No, it's not imprinting. I see how strongly you feel towards her, but Paul, it won't lead to anything and I can't allow her to be hurt."

"I don't want to hurt her." Paul whispered sadly.

"Alright, let's leave it for now. But please try to…try to stay away. It isn't going to work out and it might be better for you both to stop before delving any deeper."

Paul did not respond however, and I shrank back against the staircase as they made their way into the dining room. I stayed there for a while, thinking about what I just heard. There was the word "imprint" again, and it had something to do with me. Yet it didn't have anything to do with me, because Paul apparently hasn't imprinted on me. Did it mean that I was not attractive enough for him or something? And why was Uncle Sam so sure that it wouldn't work out between Paul and me if we were to try? I panicked slightly. Maybe he knows about me….and my condition?

I was wakened from my reverie when Aunt Emily turned towards the staircase.

"Why are you out of bed? Maybe you should stay in bed today too, dear. I will bring breakfast up for you." She tried to lead me back up the stairs, but I didn't feel like being cooped up again. Besides, I needed to figure out whether or not Uncle Sam has figured out about me.

"Aunt Emily, I wanted to eat breakfast downstairs. The company will do me good. I'm tired of lying in bed."

"Alright then, come on, let's get some food in you."

We walked towards the dining room together, and were met with the usual throng of people. Embry and Jacob made their way towards me and smiled.

"Aw, poor baby, were you sick?" Embry teased, putting his hands around my shoulder. I played along, pouting like a child. Jacob laughed and made to feel my forehead.

Paul suddenly appeared at my side, one hand snatching Jacob's hand off my face and one hand roughly brushing Embry's hand off my shoulder. His eyes were fiery with anger, and I shrank from him, scared not for myself but for the other two. I made to stand between them.

"Whoa, Paul, easy there." Jacob tried soothingly. Embry glared at Paul, but made no move to touch me again, so as not to trigger anymore anger from him.

I looked up into Paul's face, and seeing the confusion in my eyes, he turned away. I stared at his back as he retreated out the dining room. I heard Jacob sigh, and turned to him for an explanation, which he pointedly ignored as he walked towards the new plate of pancakes. Embry remained next to me, and I looked at him with my eyebrows raised.

"I told you, he has anger issues." Embry answered lamely.

I was thinking about my disappointment at how drastically the mood has changed between Paul and I. I shouldn't feel sad, I tried to convince myself. You shouldn't care. Uncle Sam was right. Whatever his reason for saying it was, there really shouldn't be anything going on between us, there couldn't be.

Uncle Sam walked towards me with yet another plate stacked with food, and I groaned, trying to find a way to get away from him.

"Oh no, you are not leaving this room until you finish this plate young lady."

Setting the plate on the table, Uncle Sam looked at me sternly while Ian appeared next to me and guided me towards it.

"So baby sister, how are you feeling today? Should I spoon feed you like when you were two?" Ryan asked innocently. Of course, nothing about Ryan is innocent, and I glared at him in return.

"Gosh, just trying to pamper the baby of the family. What's wrong with that?" Ryan said, continuing his act. I smacked him on this arm, but from the smirk on his face, I did more damage to my hand than it did to him.


	7. Gestures

_All credits to Stephanie Meyer for the mystical werewolves. _

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you…_

"What do you guys do around here all day?" I asked my brothers. If they weren't really going to university, what are they doing to earn their living? I could accept Ryan bumming off and planning for the moment only, but Ian is different. He is the ever organized, planned one. There must be _something_ he is doing here in La Push.

"Uncle Sam has a patrol company. We help out." Ian's answered vaguely. I did notice that they had a routine of leaving the house early in the morning and returning just before dinner.

"Patrol? Why would La Push need patrollers? I mean, the crime statistics isn't exceptionally high or anything. Wouldn't Uncle Sam earn more money opening a bakery store instead? With Aunt Emily's baking, they would be loaded!" I teased.

"La Push isn't as safe as it seems Kayley." Uncle Sam answered as he entered the living room where were we watching TV.

"How many patrollers do you have? I'm looking for a job, want to hire me?" I thought it was a brilliant idea. One, it would let me in on an inside view of what exactly is dangerous about La Push, and two, I could do with some cash.

"Ah, no, we are definitely not hiring you."

"Why, cause I'm a weak girl?" I provoked with a glare.

"No, we have a girl on the patrol team. Kayley, you don't qualify because, well because you're too…short." Uncle Sam's answer wasn't only lame to me, as I heard Ryan's snicker.

"You have height requirements? What, when you look at their resume your priority is height?"

"Yea pretty much. All the guys that are always hanging out here are all part of my patrol team."

How could I argue that? I mean as weird as it sounds, the guys _were_ all tall. Freakishly tall. Maybe Uncle Sam wasn't joking about the height requirement after all.

"So what are you looking for when you patrol? Don't they have the police for that." I asked.

"We look for anything dangerous." Wow, way to make a full circle back to my first question. I rolled my eyes and was about to make a sarcastic comment when Ian interrupted me.

"_Anyways_, enough about our boring work. What do you want to do today?"

After a week of pouring rain, the sun graced us with its presence once again. It has also been a week since the night Paul slept in my bed with me. We truly had a weird "relationship", for lack of a better word. I mean, do we even _have_ a relationship of any kind? Based on how much we know about each other, it would only make us acquaintances, but all the moments we have shared…well those made a completely different scenario.

Not talking to him individually for a week was hard, especially when I saw him continuously at the house. Either I'm being overly sensitive, but he seems to avoid me these days. It made distancing myself easier…I guess.

"Let's just hang out around the reserve. I don't want to watch TV today now that the sun is out." I could not stand another minute of baseball.

"Hey, it's almost lunchtime, let's go to the diner for lunch." Ryan enthusiastically suggested.

"Sure! Jared and Embry will be there." Ian responded with equal enthusiasm.

I honestly didn't care where we went, and so I followed them out the door to the car. The drive was short, and we parked in front of a slightly rundown building. Once inside however, I found the diner to be quite cozy, with random art pieces hanging here and there like the decorator had bursts of inspirations rather than careful planning.

We walked over to the high chairs against a counter where the orders were made. I would like to think they sat there so they could chat with Jared, but it's more probable that it is a strategy to get their hands on their food A-sap.

As I took the seat next to Jared, I noticed that he was dazedly staring at the waitress working behind the counter. She was busy cutting a club sandwich in triangles with a look of concentration. I said hi to Jared, and he barely glanced at me before going back to his blatant staring.

Finally, the girl finished the cutting and turned to face us fully. When she saw me, her face lit up warmly and came forward to introduce herself.

"Hi, I'm Kim." She said shyly, which I found sweet.

"I'm Kayley."

"It's nice to finally meet you. I heard so much about you from that I feel like I know you already!" She said jokingly.

I smiled widely at her, and she returned it. I saw Jared reach out to take her hand gently, and saw Kim's blush at the innocent contact.

Not wanting to disturb their moment, I opened the menu. I really wasn't that hungry, and was about to just settle for a salad. Jared however, seeing my eyes focused on the salad column, took my menu away and declared that I could not walk out of this diner without trying their burgers.

When the food arrived, I couldn't help but eye the burger with amazement. It had to be the size of half my head! I tried my best to eat it without having ketchup drip on me, but it was a hopeless cause.

As I struggled to take another bite, all the fillings of the burger, lettuce, patty, tomato, cheese and all, fell out and landed on my jeans so that I was only holding two buns. I heard laughter behind me and was about to turn around and glare. I couldn't bring myself to glare however, because I was met with the smiling face of Paul.

It was nice to see him smile at me for once, instead of those silent stares from across the room. Realizing how absurd I must look, and with everyone else joining in his laughter, I couldn't help but laugh along.

"Here let me get you some tissue." Kim offered kindly though she was laughing at my misfortune too.

"Darn it, that was only my third bite too!" I said good-naturedly.

I scooped up the greasy contents and plopped them on the plate dramatically. Paul was still laughing and looking at me like an endearing child. I made to stand so that I could clean up in the bathroom, and Paul gently grabbed my hand to help me down my high stool.

"Thanks." I said suddenly feeling shy and extremely conscious about my messy state.

"Let me show you where the bathroom is so you can clean up." Paul said. It's like he read my mind.

I followed his lead to the corner of the restaurant, and slipped in without glancing at him, still feeling slightly embarrassed. After cleaning up as much as I could, I opened the door and was surprised to see Paul leaning on the opposite wall with his hands in his pocket. He was wearing a navy blue shirt and faded jeans which made me feel shy once again.

I looked down, cursing my uncontrollable blush. I saw his feet walk towards me, but he stopped about a foot away.

"Seeing as your burger decided to bail out on you, want to get something else to eat?" Paul asked, also sounding rather shy.

I contemplated the situation at hand rationally. The past week of ignoring each other or avoiding any chance of conversing was the beginning of what I thought was my chance to distance myself. Fat load of good that did however, because he was a riddle that I wanted to understand. Going with him now however, would render the past week's attempt to nothing. Be rational Kayley…

"Sure. Let's go, but no more burgers please."

"I know just the place." He smiled jubilantly as he gestured for me to walk first.

I walked over to where everyone else was still sitting, though the food has been long gone.

"I'm going to get something else to eat. See you at home?" I said to my brothers, hoping that their protective brotherly instincts will not come into gear, with Paul as the target.

Before they could say anything, I grabbed Paul's hand and dragged him out the door. His hands were so big I was literally just holding on to three of his fingers. It was also very warm, and very soft. Reluctantly, I let go.

He looked like a mixture delight and disappointment, but made no stop and led me to his silver car.

"Where are you bringing me?" I asked to make conversation.

"To this place I always go to. It's small, but the scenery is great and it's usually quiet, unlike the diner."

"I like quiet places." I mumbled.

I saw him turn his head and smile at me, looking like he agreed with my preference.

"Kayley, I don't know how to say this but…" He looked rather distressed, and I think I know exactly why.

"I know Paul." I murmured softly. "Let's just not think about the past week and see where today brings us."

Obviously, the irrational Kayley has ruled over the rational. It was in this state of my mind that I decided, screw it, I will be friends with Paul. I mean, friendship never hurt anyone right? I want to get to know him, and he seems to want to spend time with me. Life is really too short to keep beating around the bush.

"That…that sounds great." I heard Paul sigh with what I took as relief.

"So…what do you like doing best?" Paul asked suddenly.

"Well, I like reading a lot. And painting."

He nodded his head severely like what I said mattered a lot.

"How about you?"

"Hm, I like working with cars at the garage with the guys. But my favorite is probably wood carving."

"Wow, that sounds so interesting!" I was truly intrigued that he is an artist.

"It's not a big deal really." He answered bashfully.

We finally arrived at what I assume to be the restaurant. The scenery was truly beautiful. It stood next to the waters, and I can already imagine the peacefulness of eating with the calming sound of the waves accompanying each bite.

"This is Second beach. Less popular because it's smaller. In my opinion though, it's the better beach." He said with a twinkle in his eyes.

I nodded in agreement and followed him into the restaurant. He held the door open for me, but just to be difficult, I waved for him to go through first. He refused to budge, and I likewise didn't move. We stared at each other for a moment before both laughing loudly, causing the waiter to come to the door to see what the problem was. Finally, Paul slipped through the door before me, but kept his hand on the door from inside. I walked in, dramatically shaking my head with a smile plastered on my face.

"Welcome, how can I help you?" The waiter asked me. He looked me up and down with a slight smirk, a suggestive look in his eyes. I was about to give him a piece of my mind when I felt a warm arm drape around my shoulder.

"You can help by getting us two seats, two menus, and then getting the hell out of here." Paul stated tensely.

The waiter looked intimidated by Paul's glare, and led us to our table quickly, dropping the menus off before walking speedily away. I looked at Paul, and noticed that his jaw was still tensed, glaring at the direction the waiter took off in.

I wasn't going to let some lusty waiter ruin our first time out together. As friends, I mentally added.

"If you tell the waiter to get the hell out of here, who's going take our order and bring our food?" I said, trying to bring him out of his anger.

He looked at me and sighed, finally letting the strain slip off his shoulder and jaw.

"I could always get it myself I guess."

"Who is going to cook the meal?"

"Me."

"You cook?"

"Yea, of course! Don't you?" He actually sound offended that I thought he was not a kitchen-man.

"Yea I do too. So I guess we are ok even if the waiter is crossing over the border to Canada by now. Do you remember his face?" I laughed, recalling the alarmed expression.

"I rather not remember it actually."

The waiter returned, much to my surprise. He was still sporting the anxious look, which I could understand since Paul started glaring at him again once he came near the table. If I didn't think Paul's reaction to the waiter checking me out slightly endearing, I would've spared some sympathy for him.

After ordering food and much glaring later, we settled again in our seats. From where I was sitting, I could hear the waves crashing against the shore. So peaceful.

"So what made you decide to leave Makah?" Paul asked, pulling me out of my reverie.

"It was getting boring there, without Ian and Ryan. Don't tell them, but they really liven the place up. After they left, and with my Grandpa always off to his tribal council meetings, I was getting a little bit lonely I guess." I left out some parts, but Paul didn't really need to know _all_ the details.

"Right. I'm really glad you came to La Push." Paul said sincerely.

Maybe he felt the same about me as I felt about him…the evil side of my mind suggested. No! Focus on the friendship. Friends. No more than that.

We continued our light chatter, which was marked by comfortable jokes and personal stories. It was so much fun exploring the previously riddle-like Paul that I didn't realize the sun was setting until the lights in the restaurant started turning on.

"Wow, it's getting late. Want to head home?" Paul asked me, though he looked like he wanted me to say no.

"Yea, we probably should." As reluctant as I was, we couldn't stay here forever. There must be an ending…to everything.

We walked out the door after Paul insisted on paying, using the excuse of how I deserved being treated after the burger ran out on me.

In order to "repay" him I ran to open the door for him. Understanding my stubbornness, he walked through the door without protesting with a knowing smile on his face, but made way to open the passenger door for me. I decided not to protest and accepted his small act of chivalry with grace.


	8. Harmed

_I say no world can hold a you…_

Friendship, such a precious word. And such precious people. When they enter our lives, they add something to it that is entirely unique, utterly _them_, and we come to appreciate the colours they add to our world.

Seeing how trying to stay away from Paul and at the same time wanting to get to know him was slowly becoming a mental health hazard, I have decided that we should be friends. Friends. Pure innocent friendship. It seems to be working for the both of us. We aren't silently staring across the room at each other anymore, but instead conversing like..well…like friends.

Fine. Friendship isn't what I want with Paul. Usually we would just hang out, chatting about whatever was on our mind. We tried to stay away from home though, because Uncle Sam and my brothers seemed to have formed some sort of aversion to Paul and I know exactly why. I tried to assure them of our platonic relationship, but they would still give me these unbelieving glances. There was something else in their eyes too, like I didn't understand the whole picture and why exactly it was not a smart choice to get involved with Paul.

Not that they had to worry anyways. Paul seemed content enough _just_ being my friend. He hasn't made a move to touch me in any way, and if we got too close, he would always step away. Not that I minded, trying not to think of him romantically would be hard if he was interested too.

I had to stay away from anything romantic. I don't even know how much time I have left…

Today was one of our hangout days, and he was planning a surprise.

I went to my closet and tried to pick out something nice to where. After trying on about five outfits, I decided on a green blouse and a knee length white dress. I heard a knock on the door, and rushed downstairs to answer it before anyone else could get there. Unfortunately, someone beat me to it. I was on the top of the stairs when the door opened.

"Paul, I have been meaning to speak to you."

I felt a little bit like a stalker, since this is not the first time I have eavesdropped. But it's not necessarily my fault that these opportunities kept offering themselves to me.

"Hey Ian. You know what, want to talk about it later? I'm here to pick up Kayley."

"Kayley is exactly what I plan on talking to you about."

"Oh."

"Look Paul, I don't understand what is going on between you two. I know you haven't imprinted on her. So why are you spending so much time with her?"

"I don't need to explain anything to you. Besides, I just want to be her friend. I promise, nothing else." I couldn't say that didn't hurt…a little.

"Have you forgotten that I can see your thoughts? You don't…"

"Kayley!" I heard someone shout behind me. "What are you doing?"

Great. Just as Ian was about to continue, Ryan had to disturb it. Wait, did Ian say he could "see" Paul's thoughts?

Having been caught in the act, I walked down the stairs with as much dignity as I could muster up at that moment. Still feeling embarrassed, I forced myself to look Paul in the eye to regain some composure. He however, did not look mad or even upset that I have eavesdropped on his conversation. Instead, he was looking at me like nothing that happened before I stepped down the stairs mattered. I was slightly unnerved by his intensity, but deep down, I liked it.

"Hey." I couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment.

"Hey." It seemed neither did he.

The tension in the air was thick enough to slice, since Ian and Ryan looked like they wanted nothing more than to push Paul out the door. Before they could do such a thing however, I opened the door pushed him out myself. I followed behind of course, and slammed the door behind me. Still looking slightly dazed, Paul walked over to his car and opened the passenger door for me, shutting it behind me after I settled in.

Maybe he _was_ upset that I was eavesdropping. I looked over to him, but didn't dare meet this eye. His hands were on the stirring wheel, but he made no move to turn on the ignition. I finally pulled my eyes upward, only to find that he was staring back at me. There was a twinkle in his eye, like he was looking at something he adored. But I couldn't be what caused that emotion. After all, he _just_ wanted to be friends.

I tried not to blush, but failed miserably. So, I tried not to look away from his eyes.

"Is there something wrong?" I finally managed to say. I wanted to smack myself as I heard the slight quiver in my voice.

"No, nothing is wrong. You just…you look beautiful today." He suddenly looked away from me as he mumbled the last part. He said it so softly that I would've missed it if I wasn't listening so closely to his every word.

I smiled lightly, trying to suppress a wider smile that might give away that I have heard the latter sentence.

"So, what do you have planned?" Since the day he asked me to make sure I was free today, he has been excited about his surprise. I was too.

"You will see once we get there." The uncomfortable moment finally passed, and he turned on the ignition.

The uneasiness felt back at home faded as we chatted. Finally, Paul slowed and parked in the drive way of a grey house. He stepped out of the car quickly, making it to the passenger side before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt.

"This is my house." Paul opened the front door and held it open.

I was not expecting this. Usually, we would hangout at public places like the seaside restaurant or stroll on the streets. Needless to say, I was excited to see Paul's home. Was he neat? What posters were up on his wall? Did he have pets?

I stepped in quickly, taking a survey around me. He led me to the living room, and stood aside, his hand rubbing the back of his neck like a nervous gesture.

"I tried to clean up…but living with Jared, you have to understand that it's hard."

"No, this place isn't so bad considering two males live in it." I teased.

He smiled in return and started to walk towards the staircase. I followed behind, wondering whether he would show me his bedroom…

As we walked up the stairs, I realized that my wish was going to come true. He opened the door to a room that could only be his. The car posters (typical), and dark wall and curtain colours resonated Paul.

He was standing at the door, looking rather anxious. I felt his eyes on me as I moved around the room, surveying this and that. Finally, I looked back at him and smiled. He returned it naturally, and relaxed, as if my smile was the approval he was seeking for.

I pointed to the wood carvings he has tacked onto the wall. One was the face of a wolf in a dark brown wood piece, and the other a whale. "These are amazing, did you carve them?"

He nodded and finally stepped into his room.

"I was thinking that maybe we could do some woodcarving today. I remember you like to paint, so I thought that maybe you would like to explore carving too?" He trailed off, sounding like he wasn't sure it was the greatest idea anymore.

"That sounds like so much fun. Let's do it!" I responded with enthusiasm not only to reassure him, but because I was genuinely excited.

He gave me a smile so wide, his pristine teeth shone against his russet skin.

"Alright, here, take this seat."

He had already set out the tools and wood pieces on a small table. I moved to take one of the seats next to it and he did likewise.

"What would you like to carve?"

I looked around a bit for inspiration, and my eyes fell upon the wolf carving I saw earlier.

"Hm, how about the wolf? That seems really complicated, but I like a challenge!" I smirked proudly.

He looked taken a back for a second, but suddenly returned to himself and smiled like he had a secret.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing, just smiling cause it's a good choice."

He handed me a small piece of food to practice some basic carving techniques first. Wood carving is definitely more challenging than painting, since one wrong cut could not be as easily mended just by another dab of paint.

After a few minutes of practicing, we got down to the real deal. He handed me another piece of wood and gave me careful instructions on how to begin. He carved on his piece, and I followed.

Soon, the wolf's face was taking form. Obviously, I mean to say that _Paul's_ wolf face was taking form. Mine…let's just say I will need plenty of practice. Paul was looking at my wood and trying, very sweetly, not to laugh. I didn't mind really, and was enthusiastically carving off a huge chunk when the knife slipped and cut the palm of my left hand. I yelped loudly as blood started surfacing through the line.

"Ah! Kayley, are you alright?" Panic was evident in Paul's voice as he rushed to my side, dropping his wood piece on the floor.

"Yea, I'm fine, just a little cut."

"Just a little cut? Kayley, you're bleeding!" He grabbed my hand roughly, but not so rough that it hurt, and held it for his inspection. His looked a cross between horrified, pained and like he wanted nothing more than to die. Which is plain weird, because it was just a small cut.

"That's what happens when you cut yourself Paul. Seriously, it's alright." As the blood continued to seep through and started snaking down my hand, his face increased in horror.

"But you could bleed to death! You could get an infection!" He lowered then, and swept me up bridal style walking towards what I assume to me the bathroom.

He looked so pain that I couldn't even speak. I was trying to grasp why _he_ looked more in pain than me.

"Stupid…thought wood carving was a good idea. What the hell was I thinking…" He muttered angrily under his breath.

I finally found my voice.

"Paul! Stop looking like the world is ending. A bandage will do the trick."

Looking unconvinced, he propped me up on the counter next to the sink and started wetting a towel. In the gentlest manner, surprising for a guy as huge as Paul, he began slowly dabbing along the cut.

The cut was actually pretty deep, but I wasn't about to tell him so he can freak out some more. I tried not to wince, but couldn't help it when he hit an area where the cut was particularly deep.

"Sorry! Does it hurt a lot? Damn, why am I so rough! Should I take you to the hospital?" He looked up at me with panicked concern.

"No. Now calm down. It's a wound, of course it hurts. Do you have bandages and…?" He rushed away in a blur only to return before I even finished my sentence. In his hand was a first aid kit, which he immediately opened. Handing me the bandages with a solemn expression which I couldn't wipe off no matter how much reassurance I was giving him. I decided to ignore it for now.

Like a practiced nurse, I cleaned the cut and bandaged it in a matter of minutes. He stared at me with questioning eyes.

"What? I get cut up a lot since I grew up playing with boys." No one has ever been that concerned with me getting occasional cuts before, so his concern was very odd to me.

He started shivering violently again, which I now know to interpret as anger. Angry at who and what I wasn't sure, but I wasn't about to let my accident ruin today. I laid my uncut hand on his arm. He stopped shivering, but his eyes when he looked up were still pained.

"Paul, I'm really _really_ ok. Don't be such a worry wart. I mean, people get cuts all the time." I smiled, trying to urge one from him too.

"Yea, _other_ people get cuts all the time, but _you_ should always be perfectly unharmed. I can't believe I thought wood carving was a good idea. I'm such a pathetic excuse of a human being." He looked at my hand, looking like he wanted nothing more than to hold it, but also like he didn't deserve to.

Now, I could perfectly understand that he was sorry I got hurt, but to feel that he was a "pathetic excuse of a human being"? Isn't that a little bit…overdue?

"Hm…I really don't see why you're so worried. And stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault I was clumsy and carved my hand instead of the wood." I threw in a laugh for good measure. Good measure? Bad measure. Paul did not look amused.

I sighed. This was getting way too much. I made to jump off the counter, which I was still sitting one, but couldn't since he was still standing in front of me. Sensing my movement, he picked me up again and set me down slowly onto the floor. His shoulders were hunched and he looked completely defeated.

I honestly didn't know what to do. He is acting like one of my limbs got amputated. Is Paul always so intense towards his friends? How is he going to react when he founds about my condition?

On one hand, it is kind of sweet he is so worried about my little cut. But he is seriously exaggerating it. Still having no clue what to do, I spontaneously wrapped my arms around his waist and looked up.

"Stop it Paul. I'm fine. Now wipe that frown off your face!" I tried to use the commanding voice that I pull out whenever I try to have my say with my family.

After a huge sigh, his eyes softened and began to regain some of the twinkle it held before. He reached down and gently tucked a piece of hair behind my ears.

I could've stayed there forever, but the rational Kayley voice was beginning a riot in my mind. I let go of him and made to step out of the bathroom. He looked a bit disappointed, but followed me out. I made my way towards the table again, thinking to resume the carving, but one stern look from him told me that it wasn't what he wanted me to do right now.

"Where would human civilization be if we gave up after one failure?" I challenged.

"Kayley, I swear, if you cut yourself another time I will flip out! Let's just do something else. Like talk, or watch TV, or take a walk…no, wait, it's too cold outside, you might catch a cold…"

"Wow, you sound like a hypochondriac."

"I'm not. I could care less if I get the cold, it's you that I'm worried about."

I couldn't help but blush. That was kind of sweet. Paul seemed fine however, like he was dead serious about everything he has said and would gladly put his life before mine.

"All the things you picked out require no movement at all. I'm afraid if every time we hang out, all we do is watch TV and talk, I will become obese." I remarked sarcastically.

"That's not true. You need to move your mouth when you talk, and you need to flip the channels with your fingers when you watch TV." He replied cleverly, with a smirk replacing the frown on his lips.

Yay, happy Paul is back.

"And I guess there is always the blinking huh? Geez, you're right, what was I thinking."

He finally laughed, and we spent the rest of the day doing just that. Watching TV, talking and blinking.


End file.
